Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize