Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
did i just pee glitter
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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