Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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