no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
