My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
