I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
