You're completely useless in the revolution.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
