Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
