I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize