sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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