How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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