i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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