Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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