what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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