let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
