Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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