i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
