how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
