We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
