I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
