I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
