my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
