In the future we'll all be gay
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
