whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
