im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
