I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
