I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All the doctor said was why
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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