why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
