I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
