Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
