You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We had sex on a dog bed..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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