If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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