Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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