lets start a swedish sibling band together
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
