Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
