so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
