Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
