the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize