She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
