you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize