I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
