i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
