I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
