just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
