I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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