i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
