did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
