The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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