If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
