So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize