The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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