this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
