The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize