no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I CAN MOONWALK!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize