Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
whose ass print is on the piano?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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