the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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