Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
