id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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