There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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