im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
