pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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