Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize