so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
